Life (and EO) is Relationships

22 July 2025

"Life is relationships, and the rest is just details" so stated Gary Smalley in his book, the DNA of Relationships, when he was focusing on a fundamental of business. 

When the author Gary Smalley famously stated in his book the DNA of Relationships that “Life is relationships, and the rest is just details” he was focusing on a fundamental element of every business that we overlook at a great cost.
 
The most recent Gallup poll on employee engagement, Gallup 2024, found that in the UK only 10% of employees say they feel engaged with their organisation.

The main reason they give is not to do with pay or conditions but to do with the fact they don’t feel listened to.

Yet when talking to people in the EO world it’s curious how often the focus is on the legal and financial rather than the value of this very basic human need that we all have to feel understood, whether that is an employee, a Senior Leader, a new CEO or crucially someone selling their business.

The consequences can be significant.

Not just in missing out on the benefits of engaged employees but also of the losses of value from such potentially broken relationships between outgoing owners and new management, between executive boards and EOT trust boards, and between employee representative groups and both the executive board and trustees.

So, what can be done about this? How do we go about building relationships within our organisations that add, rather than take away, value from the bottom line?

It all starts by building an ability to understand the needs of all these varied groups.

So, what exactly are these needs?

A productive place to start to answer this question is a framework developed by Tony Robbins, one of the world’s leading thinkers on personal development, who in turn, based his framework on the work of renowned psychologist Abraham Maslow and the conflict scholar John Burton.

Maslow famously talked about a hierarchy of human needs, starting with basic elements such as food, water and shelter and working up through safety, love/belonging and esteem to, at the pinnacle, self–actualisation. Burton and others challenged this, however, suggesting that human needs are simultaneous, not hierarchical.

Robbins synthesised the positions, arguing that everybody is driven by a need to fulfil one or more of six basic human needs. While everyone has elements of all six, as we are all unique, the value that someone places on each will always be specific to them. Indeed, the emphasis can often shift as we go through life.

 
Robbins' six basic needs
  • Certainty – to feel safe, comfortable and secure. That things will unfold as imagined
  • Uncertainty – that life will serve up its share of variety
  • Significance – the sense of being special or unique to a group or someone, feeling wanted and that people care about you. This includes achieving things, solving big problems & building things
  • Connection – the feeling of connection to someone or something beyond yourself
  • Growth – the feeling that we’re making progress intellectually, emotionally, financially, spiritually and even physically
  • Contribution – the feeling that we’re part of something bigger than ourselves. Looking beyond our own needs, giving to others with no expectation of gain, and leaving a legacy.

Having defined them how can they be used practically in the context of the relationships that exist within an employee owned business?

The answer lies in using them as a lens through which to understand and assess the new, and changing key relationships created in the transition and ongoing operation of an EO company.

As an owner selling your business it means reflecting both on your needs and the needs of the new management beyond financial benefit. For example, how will the change impact your need for significance and contribution that has been met historically by being the boss. 

Likewise, how might the new management reflect on their needs and that of the changing needs of the owner who has sold them the business. For example, how happy might a manager who had their need for certainty fed by being a member of a solid team led by the owner be feeling about the increase in uncertainty that comes from the responsibility of being in charge.

Equally how might various employees feel about the opportunities open to them with the new ownership structures. Who might be interested in the chance for significance and contribution, and who wants the same certainty that they had before.

Immense value can be created by understanding the changing outlooks of everyone involved. By the same token, ignoring them has the potential to create all kinds of destructive conflict.

To paraphrase "Employee Ownership is relationships and the rest is just details". We ignore them at our cost. 


The Author

Craig Carey is co-founder of Bubble Chamber  https://www.bubblechamber.net/  a business consultancy working with businesses in the 4th sector to create positive change by balancing impact with financial sustainability. Skills that directly align to the positive impact he can bring to employee owned businesses across all sectors and specialisms when acting as an independent trustee.

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